Standard Top 10

Top ten offensive items in the Standard today and reasons why it may have been shut down A few copies of the paper are on sale in the streets today despite the mysetrious early-morning burnings.

10. (Tie) Headlines: “Two prisoners qualify for varsity,” and “why only 3 students from North Eastern Province might join university.”
9. Former minister Mwiraria pleads for more time to properly answer questions from the public accounts committee on Anglo Leasing.
8. Headline: “Court bars CDF team from withdrawing cash.”
7. (Tie) Headlines: “Kenya Railways drags in transport sector” and “Construction of road (Mai Mahiu – Naivasha – Lanet) remains behind schedule.”
6. (Tie) Headlines: “Politicians greed will break us, says Ndingi” and “We paid lawyers 72 million shillings says government.”
5. Celtel paid 2 billion shillings in taxes in 2005.
4. Headline: “Teacher to sue over caning.”
3. Former minister Saitoti had lunch brought to him by a catering firm during his interrogation at CID headquarters.
2. Top KCSE student called a ‘genius of sorts’ by his former teachers who invite maths professors to verify a formula he invented. (Even am I am insulted by that, what nerve)
1. Headline: “Women excel in bus management.”

7 thoughts on “Standard Top 10

  1. Anonymous

    Just heard:

    National security minister John Michuki says the action against the Standard Group was as a result of a national threat. Michuki says the move was necessary since matters of national security can’t be taken lightly by the government. He however declined to give details of how the Standard Group has threatened the countries security.

    He is kidding Right? please tell me he is

  2. Anonymous

    michuki, kibaki & his ilk are stupid, moronic, idiots, bastards, fools & deserve to be thrown out today.

    I hope Kenyans rise in mass protests & the Standard should make it their mission to have kibaki thrown out of power. I hope Standard Newspapers & its employees sue all the perpetratros and dare wako (corrupt fool who needs to be lynched) to stop the cases.

    We kicked out the ass, moi, coz we were tired of the bastard & now we have another idiot. Enough is enough & we need a NEW slate of candidates in the upcoming election who are young & progressive!

  3. Mimmz

    While I beg not to be misundersttod as claiming that the attack on the Standard and KTN premises was nothing short of barbaric, there is a consideration here that everyone seems to be missing.

    If it turns out that there was actually a “secret” meeting held in what should be secret chambers at the State House, there is a MAJOR security breach that has to be addressed immediately. It could be a human leak, or a wire tap. If Standard has access to this leak, then so does Al-qaeda. It was definitely not handled correctly,and burning newspapers will not resolve the issue but there is a very important issue to be considered here. They can’t come right out and say it. It further endangers every Kenyan to admit a security breach at that level.

    Sometimes, we as wananchi have to just read between the lines. As journalists, the Standard team should know that disclosing sources with issues of National Security is expected or jail term substituted. This is what happened to journalists here in the US over the Carl Rove issue just last year.

  4. Aqua

    We now know that our government is a rattle snake. well, I’ve always thought it is more of a boar constrictor; asphyxating its prey, swallowing and going to sleep for a long restiful digestion. The saddest thing is that we, most kenyans, enlightened kenyans, do not mind being choked to death-or swallowed. we enjoy the warmth of the serpent’s belly, and ignore the rotting and the stench!!!! we av a tragedy. it is saddening that this government seems so out of tune and out of rhythm and out of touch with the aspirations and expectations of its employers. but that is not the tragedy. soon these people will be out. the tragedy is the alternative leadership. the political class is exclusively cast of serpents. well, there are many variants: some are black rat snakes, and puff adders. but the worst are the green snakes. you will only feel their bite. Ruto, a man who has never been in any notable employment or ran a notable business is reportedly a millionaire!Mudavadi, Musyoka, Uhuru?

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